I began motherhood with a head full of attachment parenting ideas, principles that, at the right age, in the right way can be very good. Quick responses to your baby's needs, bonding, and demand feeding are wonderful ways to begin caring for a baby. Unfortunately, I had been taken in by the opinions of those who take these ideas to the fullest extreme.
Our first baby had sleep issues. He only fell asleep nursing and began waking every 3 hours during the night after making a consistent 8 hour stretch by 6 weeks. I set out to learn all I could about infant sleep and baby care in general. I may hold a record for number and variety of books read on infants and sleep, Several titles by the Sears, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, Babywise, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, The No Cry Sleep Solution, and many others.
Like any mother I've ever known, I preferred to use the gentlest, most tear-free method first. Fortunately, it worked. I broke Elijah's nursing to sleep association using the "Pantley Pull-Off" method from The No Cry Sleep Solution. And that was all it took. I could sing and rock him to sleep, lay him in his crib, and he would take 1 to 2 hour naps and sleep 12 hours through the night. Looking back, I can't believe I saw that as a challenge! According to Marc Weissbluth, author of Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, the reason for nightwakings (after the newborn weeks when babies truly need to eat) is linked to sleep cycles. After about 3 months old, babies sleep cycles begin to resemble that of an adult's going through patterns of REM and non-REM sleep, at the end of a sleep cycle (often 3 hours long) a baby (or adult) will come into a state of very light sleep or a brief awakening. It is totally normal, and not a problem at all unless you fell asleep with your mommy, and you want to know where she is, and you need her back, now!
For Elijah I discovered it was foolproof. If he fell asleep nuring, he would be calling for me every few hours expecting to nurse back to sleep. If I rocked him, he would stay asleep. When Isaiah came along, I thought, "Great. Now I know how to handle this. No nursing to sleep, only rocking." Of course, being the proud mother of a toddler I thought I knew babies. I was a baby expert. But Isaiah came along and it turned out I was not a baby expert. I was an Elijah expert. Isaiah needed an infant professional of his own type. I made sure he did not develop a nursing to sleep association. We developed a bedtime routine. I bounced and sang him to sleep. He woke up all night long. About 12 times a night was probably his average. Naps were a no-go. He woke up everytime I put him down. He wanted to be held every second of his sleeping time. There was no tricking this one. No amount of swaddling, white noise, or any other tear-free approach would do.
After months of searching, reading, and trying everything I could possibly try, I was left with no other method but put him in his crib, turn out the light, and say goodnight. I was terrified that we were in for hours of feverish protests. The first night he cried 10 minutes and fell asleep. TEN MINUTES! All this struggle and anguish to avoid ten minutes of crying! The first few weeks he did wake some during the night, and Chris would say, "Isaiah go to sl'eep, " and he would! If I said a word, he started crying. After a week or so, Isaiah was sleeping. I had my life back, and so did the rest of the family. Everybody benefitted.
So here we are again. Hannah Grace is Isaiah's little sleep twin. They have very different personalities when awake, but apparently are both very sensitive sleepers. If the people in this household are going to thrive I have to provide them with what they need. Even if they don't like it at first, apparently our children need to fall asleep by themselves.
This link http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/774928.html contains several other links that helped me.
