I made my plan, implemented it, and things are improving around our house for everyone! Here's a synopsis of what we did.
Hannah Grace had an association of nursing to sleep, and it usually happened on the couch, so I began our transistion by getting her used to the notion of falling asleep in her crib. She got a bath, a massage, a bedtime story, a lullaby, and I put her in her crib. I climbed in there with her, (yes, you read that right) and nursed her to sleep in her bed. I was hoping that falling asleep in the bed even with my presence might be enough to keep her there, but no luck. She woke about 15 minutes later, and 15 minutes after that and so on.
After about a week of falling asleep with mom, I let her nurse in bed for a little while, but not until she fell asleep, told her goodnight and left the room. Of course, she fussed. I immediately went to check on her, patted her back, and left. I came back two minutes later to reassure her again, then returned in four. After that I didn't come back. At that point I felt continuing to go in her room would extend the protests rather than soothe them. After 30 minutes of crying total, she fell asleep. She slept for four hours, which was an immediate improvement from the ususal. I fed her when she woke up because even though a seven month old can go longer than that without eating at night quite easily, her little system had been awfully used to eating around the clock, and might want to make the adjustment gradually.
The second night I gave Hannah Grace a couple sips of chamomile tea from a spoon in hopes that it might calm her a little bit and help her deal with this adjustment period. It may have been just the thing. She cried about two minutes, fell asleep and stayed that way for six hours! The third night she cried for about one minute and the fourth wimpered for a few seconds and was done.
I am so thankful to have the evenings back! It has been a blessing to everyone. Aside from sleeping better, Hannah Grace has had quite an eventful last two weeks. She has begun belly-up crawling, pulling up to stand, and even doing a little cruising on furniture. I'm so thankful that the Lord has blessed her progress in learning to sleep and growing in total. He has been so wonderfully good to us. Next up is naptime. I'm praying Hannah Grace' s transistion to her crib will be just as easy during the day!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Baby Sleep Problems: Cause and Treatment
If we're going to find a solution to this sleep issue in our house, we must first determine the cause. Being a mother of three now, I've been down the sleep troubles road before, boy have I ever. So much so, that I feel pretty confident in the source of the problem - me.
I began motherhood with a head full of attachment parenting ideas, principles that, at the right age, in the right way can be very good. Quick responses to your baby's needs, bonding, and demand feeding are wonderful ways to begin caring for a baby. Unfortunately, I had been taken in by the opinions of those who take these ideas to the fullest extreme.
Our first baby had sleep issues. He only fell asleep nursing and began waking every 3 hours during the night after making a consistent 8 hour stretch by 6 weeks. I set out to learn all I could about infant sleep and baby care in general. I may hold a record for number and variety of books read on infants and sleep, Several titles by the Sears, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, Babywise, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, The No Cry Sleep Solution, and many others.
Like any mother I've ever known, I preferred to use the gentlest, most tear-free method first. Fortunately, it worked. I broke Elijah's nursing to sleep association using the "Pantley Pull-Off" method from The No Cry Sleep Solution. And that was all it took. I could sing and rock him to sleep, lay him in his crib, and he would take 1 to 2 hour naps and sleep 12 hours through the night. Looking back, I can't believe I saw that as a challenge! According to Marc Weissbluth, author of Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, the reason for nightwakings (after the newborn weeks when babies truly need to eat) is linked to sleep cycles. After about 3 months old, babies sleep cycles begin to resemble that of an adult's going through patterns of REM and non-REM sleep, at the end of a sleep cycle (often 3 hours long) a baby (or adult) will come into a state of very light sleep or a brief awakening. It is totally normal, and not a problem at all unless you fell asleep with your mommy, and you want to know where she is, and you need her back, now!
For Elijah I discovered it was foolproof. If he fell asleep nuring, he would be calling for me every few hours expecting to nurse back to sleep. If I rocked him, he would stay asleep. When Isaiah came along, I thought, "Great. Now I know how to handle this. No nursing to sleep, only rocking." Of course, being the proud mother of a toddler I thought I knew babies. I was a baby expert. But Isaiah came along and it turned out I was not a baby expert. I was an Elijah expert. Isaiah needed an infant professional of his own type. I made sure he did not develop a nursing to sleep association. We developed a bedtime routine. I bounced and sang him to sleep. He woke up all night long. About 12 times a night was probably his average. Naps were a no-go. He woke up everytime I put him down. He wanted to be held every second of his sleeping time. There was no tricking this one. No amount of swaddling, white noise, or any other tear-free approach would do.
After months of searching, reading, and trying everything I could possibly try, I was left with no other method but put him in his crib, turn out the light, and say goodnight. I was terrified that we were in for hours of feverish protests. The first night he cried 10 minutes and fell asleep. TEN MINUTES! All this struggle and anguish to avoid ten minutes of crying! The first few weeks he did wake some during the night, and Chris would say, "Isaiah go to sl'eep, " and he would! If I said a word, he started crying. After a week or so, Isaiah was sleeping. I had my life back, and so did the rest of the family. Everybody benefitted.
So here we are again. Hannah Grace is Isaiah's little sleep twin. They have very different personalities when awake, but apparently are both very sensitive sleepers. If the people in this household are going to thrive I have to provide them with what they need. Even if they don't like it at first, apparently our children need to fall asleep by themselves.
I began motherhood with a head full of attachment parenting ideas, principles that, at the right age, in the right way can be very good. Quick responses to your baby's needs, bonding, and demand feeding are wonderful ways to begin caring for a baby. Unfortunately, I had been taken in by the opinions of those who take these ideas to the fullest extreme.
Our first baby had sleep issues. He only fell asleep nursing and began waking every 3 hours during the night after making a consistent 8 hour stretch by 6 weeks. I set out to learn all I could about infant sleep and baby care in general. I may hold a record for number and variety of books read on infants and sleep, Several titles by the Sears, Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, Babywise, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, The No Cry Sleep Solution, and many others.
Like any mother I've ever known, I preferred to use the gentlest, most tear-free method first. Fortunately, it worked. I broke Elijah's nursing to sleep association using the "Pantley Pull-Off" method from The No Cry Sleep Solution. And that was all it took. I could sing and rock him to sleep, lay him in his crib, and he would take 1 to 2 hour naps and sleep 12 hours through the night. Looking back, I can't believe I saw that as a challenge! According to Marc Weissbluth, author of Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, the reason for nightwakings (after the newborn weeks when babies truly need to eat) is linked to sleep cycles. After about 3 months old, babies sleep cycles begin to resemble that of an adult's going through patterns of REM and non-REM sleep, at the end of a sleep cycle (often 3 hours long) a baby (or adult) will come into a state of very light sleep or a brief awakening. It is totally normal, and not a problem at all unless you fell asleep with your mommy, and you want to know where she is, and you need her back, now!
For Elijah I discovered it was foolproof. If he fell asleep nuring, he would be calling for me every few hours expecting to nurse back to sleep. If I rocked him, he would stay asleep. When Isaiah came along, I thought, "Great. Now I know how to handle this. No nursing to sleep, only rocking." Of course, being the proud mother of a toddler I thought I knew babies. I was a baby expert. But Isaiah came along and it turned out I was not a baby expert. I was an Elijah expert. Isaiah needed an infant professional of his own type. I made sure he did not develop a nursing to sleep association. We developed a bedtime routine. I bounced and sang him to sleep. He woke up all night long. About 12 times a night was probably his average. Naps were a no-go. He woke up everytime I put him down. He wanted to be held every second of his sleeping time. There was no tricking this one. No amount of swaddling, white noise, or any other tear-free approach would do.
After months of searching, reading, and trying everything I could possibly try, I was left with no other method but put him in his crib, turn out the light, and say goodnight. I was terrified that we were in for hours of feverish protests. The first night he cried 10 minutes and fell asleep. TEN MINUTES! All this struggle and anguish to avoid ten minutes of crying! The first few weeks he did wake some during the night, and Chris would say, "Isaiah go to sl'eep, " and he would! If I said a word, he started crying. After a week or so, Isaiah was sleeping. I had my life back, and so did the rest of the family. Everybody benefitted.
So here we are again. Hannah Grace is Isaiah's little sleep twin. They have very different personalities when awake, but apparently are both very sensitive sleepers. If the people in this household are going to thrive I have to provide them with what they need. Even if they don't like it at first, apparently our children need to fall asleep by themselves.
This link http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview/id/774928.html contains several other links that helped me.
Monday, February 14, 2011
The Baby Sleep Project: Day 1
Hannah Grace is 7 months and 2 days old. I really can't believe it. I always seem to sense time in a paradoxical way. I can't believe it has been that long, but at the same time it feels like she's just always been a part of our family. She is the joy of my heart, an unexpected blessing I am so thankful for. Hannah Grace is the youngest of our three children. We also have Elijah who will turn 5 in March and Isaiah who just turned 3. It is no easy task staying home full time with three children, and it is a job I take very seriously. Raising new people is a big deal. There is a lot to think about and to manage. I want to do it well, but at the moment we are facing an obstacle, one that is affecting every member of the family - our baby won't stay asleep.
It's not a case of "my baby won't sleep throught the night" (though she doesn't) as much as it is my baby wakes up every time I lay her down, or everytime someone makes a noise that is a little louder than a sigh, or for no obvious reason as all. She came into the world a fairly decent sleeper, her first night in the hospital she slept better than me. She was very gassy, but as long as she got all her toots out she slept fantastically, and by the first week was sleeping a 5 hour stretch from midnight to 5 am. From what I have read, this is the medical definition of sleeping through the night. She took nice long naps several times a day, but from 8pm to 12pm was up and down like a jack-in-the box.
From there things have gotten worse and worse from getting particular about how she falls asleep (nursing only) to refusing to stay asleep unless held and sometimes not even then. Hannah Grace's erratic sleep is throwing life into a tizzy for everyone in the Hawkins household. We attempt to keep regular nap/bedtimes, but the current state of things makes it impossible.
Imagine the scenario, I'm holding my baby, she's almost asleep, hopefully on the edge of an hour long nap during which I might actually get some laundry folded, just minutes after her eyes close they pop open to the sound of screaming in the next room because one brother has done who knows what to the other. I can't ignore the screaming child. The result: baby awake, naptime over. She will not settle back down immediately. The next two hours are mostly spent carrying around a baby who is fussy from being overtired. I attempt to do everything one handed or wear her in the carrier. Finally she's been awake long enough to attempt another nap. She falls asleep. I lay her down. Ten minutes later she's awake. (This is not because she only needed a cat nap. See Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child or any respectable book on children and sleep for confirmation of that fact). The story continues with me failing to meet the needs of my older children and my spouse, and we won't even make mention of the state of our house! When night comes she continues her completely erractic pattern of sleep/wake/sleep/wake continues. One night may be great the next terrible. I realize erractic sleep patterns are par for newborns, and even older babies may need to eat during the night after a stretch of several hours, that is not what we're talking about here.
When I had one child I was able to take the "this too shall pass" approach and have "patience" with his challenges since my life could revole around him, and did it ever! With a houseful of people dependent on me, this is simply not an option, at least not an option through which our family will thrive. Not only am I failing to meet the needs of her siblings, I am failing Hannah Grace. She needs healthy sleep to thrive, and it is my goal to help her find it. I don't want to spend her naptime holding her, and then spend her wake time frantically trying to accomplish the bare necessities around the house. I want to spend that time investing in my sweet baby. Over the next several days I commit to sort out my philosophy of infants and sleep, make a plan, and carry it out for the good of us all!
It's not a case of "my baby won't sleep throught the night" (though she doesn't) as much as it is my baby wakes up every time I lay her down, or everytime someone makes a noise that is a little louder than a sigh, or for no obvious reason as all. She came into the world a fairly decent sleeper, her first night in the hospital she slept better than me. She was very gassy, but as long as she got all her toots out she slept fantastically, and by the first week was sleeping a 5 hour stretch from midnight to 5 am. From what I have read, this is the medical definition of sleeping through the night. She took nice long naps several times a day, but from 8pm to 12pm was up and down like a jack-in-the box.
From there things have gotten worse and worse from getting particular about how she falls asleep (nursing only) to refusing to stay asleep unless held and sometimes not even then. Hannah Grace's erratic sleep is throwing life into a tizzy for everyone in the Hawkins household. We attempt to keep regular nap/bedtimes, but the current state of things makes it impossible.
Imagine the scenario, I'm holding my baby, she's almost asleep, hopefully on the edge of an hour long nap during which I might actually get some laundry folded, just minutes after her eyes close they pop open to the sound of screaming in the next room because one brother has done who knows what to the other. I can't ignore the screaming child. The result: baby awake, naptime over. She will not settle back down immediately. The next two hours are mostly spent carrying around a baby who is fussy from being overtired. I attempt to do everything one handed or wear her in the carrier. Finally she's been awake long enough to attempt another nap. She falls asleep. I lay her down. Ten minutes later she's awake. (This is not because she only needed a cat nap. See Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child or any respectable book on children and sleep for confirmation of that fact). The story continues with me failing to meet the needs of my older children and my spouse, and we won't even make mention of the state of our house! When night comes she continues her completely erractic pattern of sleep/wake/sleep/wake continues. One night may be great the next terrible. I realize erractic sleep patterns are par for newborns, and even older babies may need to eat during the night after a stretch of several hours, that is not what we're talking about here.
When I had one child I was able to take the "this too shall pass" approach and have "patience" with his challenges since my life could revole around him, and did it ever! With a houseful of people dependent on me, this is simply not an option, at least not an option through which our family will thrive. Not only am I failing to meet the needs of her siblings, I am failing Hannah Grace. She needs healthy sleep to thrive, and it is my goal to help her find it. I don't want to spend her naptime holding her, and then spend her wake time frantically trying to accomplish the bare necessities around the house. I want to spend that time investing in my sweet baby. Over the next several days I commit to sort out my philosophy of infants and sleep, make a plan, and carry it out for the good of us all!
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